I've now been here two months. I rolled into town and started my job two months ago today.
I'm a little incredulous, simply because so much has happened in such a short time span. Most of it is really, really good. I'm just reeling a bit and haven't had time to truly process. I guess that's why I find myself here instead of doing something about the paragon of pandemonium that is my bedroom right now (it's driving me nuts). I guess I need to get some of this out.
At the risk of sounding dramatic (what, me?), I truly feel like this move has represented a bit of a bifurcation of my life. It took a lot to get me off the West Coast, but when I was finally ready--I was all in. And, I know I'm only two months in, but there's been nothing to change my mind. I'm still all in, and it's honestly a kind of odd sensation for an inveterate itinerant like me. I'm happier than I've been in a long time, and the deepest part of me knows that I have followed my Father straight into the place He had for me. There is no shadow of doubt in my mind that I am supposed to be here, and I'm almost just as sure that this is a whole new era of life for me. And I cannot adequately articulate my gratitude.
Even still, a lot of good things all at once are still...a lot. I don't know where to start. Like I said, I'm sort of reeling. First I landed for six weeks with some close friends until I found an amazing home to live in with some of the most amazing, God-fearing people I've ever met. Then, entirely not of my own doing, as collateral of living with these amazing women I am already started getting embedded in a remarkable community (and possibly church) that is reminding me that church doesn't have to be the struggle that it has been for me the last 15 years. I love my job and I still can't believe that I get paid to look at books, help people find things, and coax them along their legal research way. Oh, and I get to speak French with a coworker nearly every day and my focus is on Foreign & International law. Pinch me.
There's more too--but that's for another day. Suffice it to say that my current struggle is to keep up emotionally with all that's happening around me and process accordingly. And praying, several times a day, for wisdom from On High: "Dear God, there's so much to navigate right now, and I am failing in some of it. Let love cover every multitude of wrongs and give me the wisdom of Solomon as I walk ahead in this human box I live in."
Praise God, I've also found a Dr. to work with. This week I got some not so wonderful news about what is going on with me and I've had a difficult flare up health-wise in the last week and a half, but I have faith that this won't be forever and I do know that treatment will start soon. And I'm grateful that this place is being more thorough than anyone else has been so far.
In short, I acknowledge that I may still be in the honeymoon phase, but I finally feel as if I'm with my people. I miss my family, but I am supposed to be here. I don't know how to say it otherwise.
I'm a little incredulous, simply because so much has happened in such a short time span. Most of it is really, really good. I'm just reeling a bit and haven't had time to truly process. I guess that's why I find myself here instead of doing something about the paragon of pandemonium that is my bedroom right now (it's driving me nuts). I guess I need to get some of this out.
At the risk of sounding dramatic (what, me?), I truly feel like this move has represented a bit of a bifurcation of my life. It took a lot to get me off the West Coast, but when I was finally ready--I was all in. And, I know I'm only two months in, but there's been nothing to change my mind. I'm still all in, and it's honestly a kind of odd sensation for an inveterate itinerant like me. I'm happier than I've been in a long time, and the deepest part of me knows that I have followed my Father straight into the place He had for me. There is no shadow of doubt in my mind that I am supposed to be here, and I'm almost just as sure that this is a whole new era of life for me. And I cannot adequately articulate my gratitude.
Even still, a lot of good things all at once are still...a lot. I don't know where to start. Like I said, I'm sort of reeling. First I landed for six weeks with some close friends until I found an amazing home to live in with some of the most amazing, God-fearing people I've ever met. Then, entirely not of my own doing, as collateral of living with these amazing women I am already started getting embedded in a remarkable community (and possibly church) that is reminding me that church doesn't have to be the struggle that it has been for me the last 15 years. I love my job and I still can't believe that I get paid to look at books, help people find things, and coax them along their legal research way. Oh, and I get to speak French with a coworker nearly every day and my focus is on Foreign & International law. Pinch me.
There's more too--but that's for another day. Suffice it to say that my current struggle is to keep up emotionally with all that's happening around me and process accordingly. And praying, several times a day, for wisdom from On High: "Dear God, there's so much to navigate right now, and I am failing in some of it. Let love cover every multitude of wrongs and give me the wisdom of Solomon as I walk ahead in this human box I live in."
Praise God, I've also found a Dr. to work with. This week I got some not so wonderful news about what is going on with me and I've had a difficult flare up health-wise in the last week and a half, but I have faith that this won't be forever and I do know that treatment will start soon. And I'm grateful that this place is being more thorough than anyone else has been so far.
In short, I acknowledge that I may still be in the honeymoon phase, but I finally feel as if I'm with my people. I miss my family, but I am supposed to be here. I don't know how to say it otherwise.
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