It did. On several different fronts. And it's funny because I'm not the only that noticed: a lot of it is a repeat of what I went through last year. But yes, I am just going to leave it that vague.
The truth is, I'm okay. I'm kind of shocked about it, actually, but I'm okay. I was not okay going through this last year. But God is good, and I'm experience what Paul means when he talks about a "peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds." Circumstances are in a state of abject fury right now (I also just wanted to use the word "abject") but I have a deeply seated peace that I'm not sure I've ever really experienced like this before.
I'm definitely not complaining, I'm marveling. I'm marveling to feel the work that He has indeed done in me. Thank You, Father.
I feel like I'm at a weird crossroads right now, but I have a feeling the decision will make itself--even though I have no idea what that means. I am over the moon to be going back to Alaska this summer. But I do wonder what it's going to feel like...
Right now, it feels like home. It feels like I'm going home to wonderful and difficult all at the same time and I don't know how I'm going to process it. I've changed, I know I have. My thoughts on things have changed, and I've been through a lot these past 3 years.
I wonder if I'll still have a place there, and what that place will look like. I wonder if I'll get there and dread leaving again, or if I'll spend this summer there and feel like I've had my fill of it by the end--like I'm supposed to move on. Right now I can't imagine feeling that way, and I don't want to, but I know life and Jesus have a funny way of changing our hearts and minds.
I do know that this summer holds the bar exam for me. I'm going up there and I'm pretty much staying in a hole until August. I cannot get distracted.
Mmm, but those mountains though. I can't wait.
The truth is, I'm okay. I'm kind of shocked about it, actually, but I'm okay. I was not okay going through this last year. But God is good, and I'm experience what Paul means when he talks about a "peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds." Circumstances are in a state of abject fury right now (I also just wanted to use the word "abject") but I have a deeply seated peace that I'm not sure I've ever really experienced like this before.
I'm definitely not complaining, I'm marveling. I'm marveling to feel the work that He has indeed done in me. Thank You, Father.
I feel like I'm at a weird crossroads right now, but I have a feeling the decision will make itself--even though I have no idea what that means. I am over the moon to be going back to Alaska this summer. But I do wonder what it's going to feel like...
Right now, it feels like home. It feels like I'm going home to wonderful and difficult all at the same time and I don't know how I'm going to process it. I've changed, I know I have. My thoughts on things have changed, and I've been through a lot these past 3 years.
I wonder if I'll still have a place there, and what that place will look like. I wonder if I'll get there and dread leaving again, or if I'll spend this summer there and feel like I've had my fill of it by the end--like I'm supposed to move on. Right now I can't imagine feeling that way, and I don't want to, but I know life and Jesus have a funny way of changing our hearts and minds.
I do know that this summer holds the bar exam for me. I'm going up there and I'm pretty much staying in a hole until August. I cannot get distracted.
Mmm, but those mountains though. I can't wait.
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