Interesting. I guess this is it.

So I guess...this is it.

I came to Italy with so many questions and I've been here 2 months, almost, and have not gotten the answers I sought.

Instead, true to my Savior's form, I have gotten other answers, and a resounding reminder of who is God. Newsflash: it's not me.

This is my list of questions, I believe, that I previously enumerated:

1. Why I’m even in Italy.
2. Why I’m in law school—when I hate it.
3. What You’re doing with my life.
4. And God, that You haven’t forgotten about me.

And this is the list of answers I've gotten:

1. I AM.
2. I AM.
3. I AM.
4. I AM.
5. AND THAT IS ENOUGH.

Ouch. But...wow. 

I knew that there was a possibility that God was allowing me to come here to answer this question that I've had since I was 18 years old of "am I supposed to be in Italy?" And I knew that there was the distinct possibility that the answer to that question may be: NO.

So I guess...this is it. I guess, I don't know, maybe I will be back but I guess this summer was not supposed to be about me getting all of my little head's dreams fulfilled, but rather my heart getting re-centered and reminded of WHO is God and that I am actually created for satisfaction in Him, not for the realization of my dreams.

When did I get so off track? I don't really know.

I gaze at these few words and I'm amazed at how many thoughts, emotions, tears, and prayers fill in the lines and spaces between everyone of these characters and words. There's so much more to what I'm saying right now, but I don't feel like I can write about it on here. I guess there are still some things that are too personal right now.

But that's okay, because the point is that I know who is God. The point is that I know what He has done in me...and I think that's what I ultimately came to Italy for.

He had given me the word "intimacy" for this year, and that's what He's doing--and that's what I'm going to keep praying for. Deeper still, and more intimacy with Him.

I mean, if I'm really, really searching for that "thing" I'm created for then--this is it, right?

Make it so, Lord. And then take me home, and may I be satisfied that this is, apparently, not the place I'm supposed to be. 

But thank You, for knowing your daughter well enough to know that she had to GO to get that question's sound response.

Thank you.