In beautiful, snowy, mountainous Colorado right now, and for the last couple of nights I've had trouble sleeping. I don't know why.
This place reminds me of Alaska, and makes me miss it. Snow, mountains, all-wheel drive. It's how life should be...or how I love it, I guess.
I've been laying awake with some back pain. I can't tell if it has to do with the accident or if it's other stuff. Anyway, I need to hit the core strength exercises hard when I get home. My entire body is also missing my own bed.
Even if this back pain isn't related to the accident, it still definitely reminds me of it, and all the proceeding events that I got thrust into afterward. That means that Italy is heavy on my mind. I wish I knew why. I just know that right now I have a ton of questions and only hope for answers.
I emailed Rome this week about the internship. It's scary. I want it so bad I can almost already feel the devastation of being denied it, but why does my mind do that? I hate that I'll often prepare myself for the worst and end up selling myself short because of it sometimes. Other times I hope for too much and get devastated. I'm not sure what to change here--I just know that I'm beginning to see what I want and now I'm wanting it badly.
Is that unwise? I don't thing so...I just feel like I'm in a January holding pattern and I've never waited well. I want, want, want to, but I'm so not there yet. But is this how Joseph felt? Wondering when his life was going to actually start? Was this how David felt when he had to live the life of a fugitive before God put him on his throne? I wonder. I bet I'm getting a glimpse of it.
Anyway, I'm going to drinks some tea that will hopefully make me pass out and sleep well. Here's to another day of January waiting tomorrow. I'm in good company, though. And my nephew can now (sort of) say my name. :)
This place reminds me of Alaska, and makes me miss it. Snow, mountains, all-wheel drive. It's how life should be...or how I love it, I guess.
I've been laying awake with some back pain. I can't tell if it has to do with the accident or if it's other stuff. Anyway, I need to hit the core strength exercises hard when I get home. My entire body is also missing my own bed.
Even if this back pain isn't related to the accident, it still definitely reminds me of it, and all the proceeding events that I got thrust into afterward. That means that Italy is heavy on my mind. I wish I knew why. I just know that right now I have a ton of questions and only hope for answers.
I emailed Rome this week about the internship. It's scary. I want it so bad I can almost already feel the devastation of being denied it, but why does my mind do that? I hate that I'll often prepare myself for the worst and end up selling myself short because of it sometimes. Other times I hope for too much and get devastated. I'm not sure what to change here--I just know that I'm beginning to see what I want and now I'm wanting it badly.
Is that unwise? I don't thing so...I just feel like I'm in a January holding pattern and I've never waited well. I want, want, want to, but I'm so not there yet. But is this how Joseph felt? Wondering when his life was going to actually start? Was this how David felt when he had to live the life of a fugitive before God put him on his throne? I wonder. I bet I'm getting a glimpse of it.
Anyway, I'm going to drinks some tea that will hopefully make me pass out and sleep well. Here's to another day of January waiting tomorrow. I'm in good company, though. And my nephew can now (sort of) say my name. :)
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